Friday, August 7, 2009

The Guest List for the Weekend of 7-August-2009

(DISCLAIMER: all thumbnails are clickable for relevant stories used to determine whether said guest should be "REJECTED" or "ACCEPTED")

Glenn Beck - when you call someone a racist (in the sense of a half-black man being racist against white people) and then in the same interview, almost the same breath, say "I'm not saying he doesn't like white people"... seriously, what is going on that head of yours? is there actual cognition or is it just rapid reflex synapses firing whatever pops onto your tongue? go faux-cry in the back alley, maybe you'll make a friend.

Orly Taitz - this may sound a bit racist (and it's not), but to hear someone with such a thick accent and high-pitched squeal try to fight on the wrong side of citizenship is almost aneurysm-inducing. and to op it off, she's a "lawyer", realtor, and dentist (WTF?!). ever hear of "jack of all trades, master of none"? unde este common sense? (romanian for "where's the common sense?)

Lady Gaga - - every time i see her, i want to claw my eyes out. if she stayed in the studio that she records her music in for life, then i could tolerate her, but she has such an inferiority complex that she'll be a flash in the pan, that she has to dress like this... and the LATEST... she just might be a hermaphrodite.

Pat Buchanan - you haven't seen a white man so "scared" of black people since the 50's. i'm pretty sure it is impossible to be "oppressed" when you are the majority, and even if you aren't the majority, if you have all the power. congress is 83% male, 85% caucasian, and 99% christian/protestant. the SCOTUS has been 97.3% male, 97.3% white, and 82% christian/protestant.the POTUS has been 98.6% caucasian (given he's half-black), 100% male, and seemingly 100% christian/protestant. this is pretty much the entire U.S. government. there's no way in hell you can feel prejudiced against as a white, god-believing male. person-to-person cases, OK, but as the collective you claim... get the fukk out of line!

T-Pain, Akon, Kanye... anyone using Auto-Tune AS music - you can't sing. just live with it. over-using auto-tune isn't creative, it's the musical equivalent of coming out of the closet. AND it's hip-hop. you don't sing in hip-hop anyways. you have a producer come up with a catchy beat, sample another FAR more famous and talented artist, and then you talk over it in various loosely-based rhymes. take your crunk and go home.

The "Auto-Tune the News" Crew - this is one instance when Auto-Tune is ok. why, you ask? because they are taking the piss. they are taking current events and making a good joke out of them. and who knew katie co was such a good Auto-Tune singer. go on in.... SHORTAAAY!

1 comment:

  1. Do you think if they forced Orly Taitz to sit in a helium-filled room for interviews it would raise her voice to a pitch only heard by dogs? I sure would appreciate it and since my dog died a year ago this week the Humane Society can't charge me with cruelty to animals.