Friday, October 30, 2009

The Guest List for the Weekend of 30-October-2009

(DISCLAIMER: all names are clickable for relevant stories used to determine whether said guest should be "REJECTED" or "ACCEPTED")

The club apologizes for the lack of incumbents this week. It must be that everyone is saving up their energy for the upcoming Halloween parties, or that everyone is getting the blues since summer is over and the winter looms, but never you worry; the club will be open all winter ready to lift your spirits WITH spirits if necessary. Come back next week, and we'll see if we can't draw a bigger crowd.

Scientologists - I have to give you credit, you guys sure can spin. I don't know how you do it, but somehow you can warp the minds of some rich people into taking up the cause of your loony tunes "religion". It's impressive and scary. I mean, L. Ron, went into this as a business. He's been quoted as wanting to start a religion. Theoretically, you don't "start" a religion, you can't create one, it must be introduced to you by some higher power who wants some cred for all his work. When you say you "want" to start a religion and then do... well, that's just an INSANE coincidence. Going after the rich people was good too, you need funding if you want to see it grow large in your lifetime and offering plates are just so small. I just want to say you guys are nuts. Give you money away to charity, do GOOD with it. When you are confronted with claims of financial and spiritual fraud, you throw off your mic and storm out? That's not a very good impression to leave with the people. Maybe you should go home, get audited, and if we're lucky, they are handing out the magic grape Kool-Aid tonight.

Bobby McFerrin - Man, I'm really sorry that you will forever be known as the "Don't Worry, Be Happy" guy (dammit, it's in my head... well that was the risk I took inviting you in). I mean, it's a good and catchy song, but apparently your knowledge base for music theory and cognition goes significantly further than that. The video you did was interesting in that it engaged that audience with, at first, a bit of awkward "What the hell is the 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' guy doing jumping around the stage", and then went on to, without coaching, conducting an entire crowd into hitting notes strictly from spacial perceptions. When you can engage an audience like that, the point really sticks, and the club is glad to see you spreading some fun and knowledge around. We appreciate it if you can in and sang something to get your "other" song out of our heads. Thanks.

Charlize Theron - Charlize, welcome to the club. We are really excited to have you here tonight. We are big fans of your movies (Aeon Flux... oh yeah!). Reindeer Games was, well, everyone had bumps, but you had "Monster". The club has been lacking in the "Beautiful Woman" department lately, but you are definitely upping that factor this evening. We thought it was great that you were willing to kiss a total stranger to get your bids up for an African charity in order to beat Jeremy Piven. When the winning bidder turned out to be a woman, you didn't back down, and the club absolutely fell head over heels for you. YOU... ARE... AWESOME! Please do come in. I'll apologize ahead of time if there is any gawking.


  1. I was unaware of Bobby McFerrin's status. (Now I have the son in my head). Charlize Theron...ACCEPTED!! Hopefully, there will be more rejects and acceptees for next week. I love your analysis of all.